I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
