omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
