somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
