If that was your dad, he is hot
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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