Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
