I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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