Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
