dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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