god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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