Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
