when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
