Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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