It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
