One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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