all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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