i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We named our party play list daddy issues
honey bunches of taint.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I love you. Go after that dick
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
