Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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