areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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