all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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