Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
