Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
