i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
