babies were throwing up all over the place
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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