You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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