Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize