Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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