clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
