it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
