Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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