You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
