so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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