try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize