Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize