Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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