Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
