He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
