Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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