I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
