so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
