New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
