I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Blow job season was short but glorious.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
