Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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