So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
