Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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