This is not my ceiling
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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