Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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