Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
