Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.

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(805): View more from California

we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend

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(850): View more from Florida

when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?

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(765): View more from Indiana

She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?

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(561): View more from Florida

No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south

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(817): View more from Texas

I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.

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(210): View more from Texas

Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.

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(571): View more from Virginia

I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.

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