im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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