i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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