Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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