i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
