Pants 0. Shit 1.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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