just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
