Someone shit on the floor
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
