maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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