You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
