I CAN MOONWALK!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
