physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
