Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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