We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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